UNTOLD ARSENAL

International weeks, blah blah.  Boring, except two big things are happening.

First something stirs in the Reserves, because at last our defensive midfielder - the one everyone was screaming for through the summer - is playing.

Oh yes (as John Major used to say).   Amaury Bischoff is playing in the Reserves against Stoke tonight.

That might not seem much, but the few comments around from people who have seen him, suggest that he is something else and something else again, and he is in the position where the world and his godson have said we need a new man in.  OK he didn’t cost £20m, and he’s not 28 years old, but his reputation is that before his injury, he really was good.

And please take a look at the rest of that midfield.  Jack Wilshere, Mark Randall and Francis Coquelin.   That could well be our central midfield all the way to the Diddly Widdly Cup Final.  Coquelin comes from the world that gave us Clichy - he arrived unknown from a French second division side (Laval) and just turned up in the game at Barnet pre-season.

His whole style of running is - well - odd (that is not a criticism - to me Pires was always 50% of Henry’s genius, and his style of running was odd too).  But unplanned he went to the pre-season training camp in Austria, and played against Szombathelyi.

The Arsenal website tellingly says, “With his rugged and aggressive manner, coupled with a fine passing range, Francis is sure to have his eye on a holding midfield berth in the future.”

We’ve also got Silvestre playing in the centre of the defence - quite a team.

So that’s tonight’s excitement.  If you spent the summer screaming for midfielders come along to Barnet tonight and support them, now there are two new ones on show.   Give me a wave.  I’m the guy wearing red and white.

As for the rest, there is only worry, worry and worry again as Robin VP plays for Holland a year or so after being crippled in a similar game.   Theo’s playing too, along with most of the French contingent.   All we can hope for is that they come out walking.

There is an alternative of course - we don’t actually have to have any of these international games.  I mean, I’m going to be in Cardiff this weekend, and before I realised the full impact of the internationals I was thinking I might take in a “game” (I use the word in its vaguest sense) at Cardiff City, or perhaps drive west to Swansea, having never been to their ground since they left the Vetch.   But both are off because of “internationals”.  So I am left with Wales v Lichtenstein at 5.30pm.   Probably be a 0-0 draw, even with Ramsey doing his stuff.

What a life.

It is perhaps not surprising that in recent month Sir Alex F-Word’s relationship with the Lord Wenger seems to have changed, and we have witnessed the two in conversation.  Reports from international conferences suggest that this is happening more and more and that they are spending time huddled together in corners…. chatting.

The reason is almost certainly that having decided not to talk to anyone else Sir F-Word is getting lonely.

Sir F has in the past said that he won’t speak to the BBC because they once had the temerity to talk about his son.  On other occasions he has refused to speak to Sky TV, which balanced it up a bit, although he’s never stopped speaking to ITV for some reason.

Most of the daily newspapers have had to live without him at one time or another - in fact I think the Guardian, Times and Independent are the only ones he has not removed himself from before now (probably because the words used are too long for him to read.)

In addition he has issued self-censoring bans on the entire Press Association, Manchester Evening News, Century FM, and the Manchester United TV Channel.

But of course such silence can never hold a good man down - UEFA, who know a thing or three about idiots and the press then chose him to speak on how managers should handle the wider world.

And now it seems Sir F-Word is selling mortgages.  With the club unable to pay the interest on its debts, season ticket sales in such decline that the waiting list has melted, and a sponsor that has just been given 85 billion dollars by the American taxpayer, the  club has now put out an advert which says,  “Ask for a Manchester United mortgage quote and you could win £5,000 to put towards your household bills!”

I wonder what the Lord Wenger (complete with degree in economics) has to say about that next time the two have a cosy chat.