UNTOLD ARSENAL

Making some sort of sense of what these Tiny Tott characters say can be a bit of a time-consuming job. Indeed I’ve been working at it all day and I still can’t quite make it work.

Mr Daniel Levy, that jolly nice fellow-me-lad who “runs” (I use the word lightly) one of the more minor footballing clubs in the north of London, said this..”We have achieved too much over the last seven years… to allow this to be overtaken and thrown away overnight.”

So, seven years worth of achievement.   That must be…Well fortunately Mr Levy gives us some clues.  It includes 3 entries into the European Diddly widdly cup for clubs what don’t quite make it into the Champs League (like Milan).  Winning the UK cup for reserve teams, which the Tiny Totts cheat at by putting out their first team (and then holding wild all-night parties because their first team manages to beat our under 9s team in the semis).  Oh yes, and training centre planning permission.

I kid you not - Mr Levy actually quoted “training centre planning permssion” as one of the “achieved so much” things worth noting.So there you have it - 3 trips to Europe, winning the Little Cup, and planning permission for a training centre.   That’s it in seven years.  It is success.

All except one little thing.  It is a detail and I hardly dare mention it, but just for completeness you understand I thought I really ought to add.   You see, the jolly fellow under whose leadership most of this happened - the Euro qualifications, the building of the team capable of beating Arsenal’s children, and so forth - was Martin Jol.  And he was sacked by… Mr Levy.

Anyway, makes you think about Arsenal’s achievements over the same period.   Unbeaten Season, that sort of thing.   Still better not boast.

Police services report that most of North London is now back to normal following a night of disturbances.  A senior officer at the Met apologised to local residents and said that his officers were taken by surprise.

“Two sets of celebrations took place at once, and we really hadn’t expected it,” said DCI Yard, of the Yard.   “On the one hand there was a bunch of supporters of one of the smaller football clubs in the metropolis celebrating the fact that their club had reached Derby’s total of wins, as established last season.

“Unfortunately this event coincided with the annual Sack a Manager Day in north London.  A lot of people got rather excited by this, even though it is a very regular event,” said Mr Yard.

He also assured those living locally that there will be more police on the streets next October when “our ‘Ary” is shown the door.

Elsewhere with round about one quarter of the season gone we can reflect on the curious finding that only one of the Big Three clubs is in the top three - CSKA Fulham.   The other two places being taken by clubs that have never won the EPL: Liverpool Insolvency and Hull.

Arsenal are above Manchester Bankrupt (and will stay above them even if the Bankrupts win their game in hand), one point behind Chelsea and four behind Liverpool I.  With 75% of the games still to go it is not too bad a position.

Considering the multiple grindings of the teeth and general fedupness of Arsenal supporters throughout the summer, where the demands were for the signing of 2387 mid-fielders and another five strikers, Arsenal have managed to leave out players such as Van Persie in Turkey, and Denilson and Adebayor in the east end, and still get results.   With the return not just to fitness but to form of Diaby, and with Eduardo, Bishcoff and Rosicky yet to play at all this season, the flexibility of the team is looking reasonable.  What’s more Ramsey, Vela and Wilshere are all just slowly emerging, and have much more to give.

There is a story that Eduardo is going to come on as a sub in the diddly widdly cup against Wigan, which should add to the fun.  Bischoff is playing in the reserves, and is now up to playing a full game, and Rosicky should be seen again after Xmas.

In fact rather than there being a shortage of players, it now looks as if there are too many.  Still the situation of that rather amusing Mr Bentley should be quite a lesson to one or two of the more excitable junior members of the squad who might think of leaving if they don’t get to play every weekend.

(Isn’t life just that little bit nicer when we beat the little London teams?)