UNTOLD ARSENAL

In December 2003 Tottenham Hotspur announced that they were going to raise £15m through a share offer.

Then they did something very funny - they told potential investors that the club was a good investment for despite having been knocked out of the diddly widdly cup early on, and not being in Europe, they were still in the FA Cup.  Given that Tottenham had yet to play in the FA Cup (it being December and all) the bankers of the City were not convinced.

Tottenham Action Group said. “It’s indicative as to the way the club has been run over the last few years. Clearly, the board of directors at Tottenham have not realised that we have yet to play in the FA Cup. They are clutching at straws. Until we have people who understand football running this club we are going to have season after season of disappointment.”

The idea was to offer 60,000 new shares to existing shareholders, the entire issue  underwritten by Enic.

I mention this because we now have what might be a new scam in the offing.  I mentioned it the other day but didn’t appreciate how much of a scam this might actually be.

Tottenham are claiming that they have a mega waiting list for season tickets of 20,000.

That seemed a bit much to me, as I said at the time.   So I went looking.

In 2004 the Independent ran a piece which said of the Tinies season ticket sales at the time, “A total of 23,500 sold for next season, the same as last season - the figure is capped. About 9,000 on a waiting list.”

So several years of failure later, the waiting list shot up.  How?

Kevin, writing to Untold Arsenal said this…

“Tony - re: the 20,000 waiting list. I got this from their website - every single one of their paying members who is not a season ticket holder is put on the season ticket waiting list, regardless of whether or not they would want a season….

“If THFC are selling out 36,237 at present, virtually all of the 14,237 spare seats must be getting sold to people on that 20,000-strong list. By my maths that means up to, but no more than, 5763 disappointed members for current home games, assuming every member wants to go to every home game. “

It looks to me like another story just like the “still in the FA cup story.”

Of course I don’t have inside information on this, and I am not accusing anyone of false accounting or telling lies, but from my biased perspective it looks to me as if a 60,000 stadium has been invented as a story to keep everyone happy while the club are in the relegation zone.   As Mr Levy rightly said - they have achieved so much during his reign at the club - they won the Diddly Widdly cup, got into the Diddly Euro Cup, and got planning permission for a training ground.   Quite an achievement while the neighbours built a new stadium, won the league a couple of times, and the FA cup a few times, and had an Unbeaten Season, and were in the top European Champions League every year.

It does look like a bit of fantasy ahead of an attempt to raise more money or sell the club.  Which is why, on this peaceful Sunday afternoon, I thought it would be nice to rename the club.  Not longer the Tiny Totts, but instead maybe

Fantasy Totts or

Tottenham Fantasy or

Fantasy Hotspur (managed by Harry Hotspur) or

Tiny Fantasy

Childish nonsense I know, but there is an important point in all this.  The waiting list at Tottenham Fantasy isn’t quite all it seems, and if it is being used as a way of raising finance, then maybe that needs to be said.

This weekend the team at the bottom of the league beat the team at the top of the league.  The team who were a couple from bottom beat the team who were 4th.

The first story seems to be full of Harry Hotspur and the miracle of the man whose only previous achievement is to win the FA Cup by beating Cardiff.  The second story seems to be full of Arsenal implodes.

There’s no implosion, in my view.  Remember the end of the 49 games - we lost and then didn’t seem to be able to win again.   That’s how it goes.

Most people are aware that there is a strong Anti-Arsenal element in the media and they will jump on Arsenal at any opportunity.  Now seems a good time for some of us who feel like it to resist the negative attitudes of the hacks.

In the end we are still 6 points behind the leaders and have maintained that position despite going through a poor result against Stoke and a poor 2 minutes against the Tiny Fantasists (a new name for the Tiny Totts - I’ll explain another time).   Is that so awful?

If it is, how awful are Liverpool Insolvency losing to the Tinies?  And what about that time when we were (what was it? 10 points behind Manchester with only 8 games to go - something like that) (sorry I am writing this 160 miles from home and don’t have my reference books here, and am being asked to get up and go to see James Bond).

Final point - there were a couple of comments suggesting that I was wrong to start telling people how to think.  If that’s how it came across it was bad writing on my part.   This column is written for the amusement of me and anyone who cares to read it - I certainly don’t believe that I can influence anyone, I’m just saying the world as I see it, and saying if you agree, maybe you’d agree with this following point.  If not, ok, you see the world your way.  

Really, I’m just an ordinary guy who happens to have decided to write a blog.