QPR at home. Billy the Dog discusses tactics with Dennis Bergkamp

By Dennis the Menace with Billy the Dog

On Tuesday we play Reading in the Diddly Widdly Cup.  I know this because on the official Reading FC site (which is just about the most incomprehensible web site of any Premier League club) it tells me everything with ! at the end of each sentence!

If you want to go the tickets are £25 adults, £20 17-21s, £20 65 & over; £15 16 & under.  Compare and contrast with the prices that would have been charged at Arsenal – £10 upstairs, £5 downstairs.   Will we see any shock horror news about Reading charging 250% of the price Arsenal charge?

But before that we have Jack Wilshere vs QPR.  So great is the clamour for Jack to return that when I spoke to Dennis Bergkamp before the game at his allotment in Enfield, where he was happily digging in the potatoes (or was it sprouts – these vegetables are rather confusing) he put forward a line up of

Wilshere

Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

  Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

I did point out that this made it a 13 man team Dennis told me that Wilshere was so good that it appeared there were two of him half the time.  Or more.  Or less.

But I said that Wilshere is only 80% fit, and Dennis agreed to modify his team to

Wilshere

Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

  Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

Wilshere, Wilshere, Wilshere

which I thought looked ok.

It was at this moment that Mr Wenger, armed with his pitchfork and wheelbarrow joined us for our regular pre match tête a tête in the potting shed and agreed to be quoted provided I got the circumflex accent in the right place

“If you look at a more selfish view, you can say a guy can play an hour. But during this hour it is important that he is fit enough to play. What I am considering is that he wants to play, it is an important game, but we want the players to be ready physically and he has not played for 14 months.”

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is also available Mr W told us as we bit into a passing marrow.  “It will be vital as some players finished very tired after Schalke,” he said. “We look to see how the troops are physically and mentally.”Mr Wenger calls Wilshere’s game his “little burst”, and he thinks this could be a shake up for the club.  Dennis agreed suggesting QPR will set the bounds on Santi Cazorla, and in fact the howling was heard all over London this morning.  Oxlade-Chamberlain is ok to play I am told.  Then it is the eternal wait for Theo Walcott, Abou Diaby, Kieran Gibbs and Wojciech Szczesny.

We spoke too of Bacary Sagna and suggested dropping Wilshere from left back and playing Sagna there instead of Santos.  Or perhaps Thomas Vermaelen at left-back with Laurent Koscielny in the middle.  But that would leave us with only six Wilshere’s on the pitch and everyone agreed that was not enough.

“It is important to bounce back,” said Mr Wenger as his wheelbarrow got stuck in a pile of mud for which Enfield is justifiably famous.

“Arsenal have won more corners than any other premier league team,” said Dennis.

As for Questionable Perverse Ricochets (or QPR as they are known) they at top of the first division if you turn the league table upside down.  The Ooze is their manager, so we know what to expect.

.

And here is a snip.  Did you know that Liam Brady scored his first goal, Bob Wilson played his last game and Alan Ball broke his leg – all in the same match against QPR? 30 April 1974.  Arsenal came 10th in the league that season, followed by 16th the next season and 17th the season after.  The manager was… Bertie Mee.

Last time around it was QPR 2 Arsenal 1 (Walcott), in March 2012.  And before that Arsenal 1 (van Persie) QPR 0, December 2011.

But Dennis reminded me of  QPR 0 Arsenal 6, FA Cup, January 2001.  So if you want to show off, you can give us all details of why Dennis remembered that.  And what was special about December 31 1994?

Arsenal have six yellows this season QPR 13.

Arsenal

Mannone

Jenkinson Mertersacker Vermaelen Santos

Wilshere Arteta

Cazorla

Gervinho Giroud Podolski

Other people hanging around hoping for a moment of fame:

Martínez, Sagna, Koscielny, Chamberlain, Djourou, Ramsey, Coquelin, Gnabry, Arshavin, Frimpong, Chamakh